How it might affect your relationship

Adapting to being parents

Feeling low and the 'baby blues'

The work-life balance

Loss of how things used to be

Although having a new baby brings many positives, parenthood also brings with it losses in other aspects of life and it's often the most difficult transition anyone will have to make.

Struggling with new roles

Many new mothers struggle to maintain a clear sense of themselves when they become parents. They have to accommodate a new identity, and other roles in life become secondary, at least at first.

"Nobody looks at me anymore. They focus on the baby. I am Jim's mother rather than a person in my own right".

"It's difficult, I don't really know where I belong anymore - I'm not the same as my friends at work who have no babies. They can't understand when I can't go out at the drop of a hat anymore or stay up late … but because of my work I have no way of meeting up with other mothers locally."

Women may also find it difficult to adjust to changes in their body: weight, stretch marks, sagging and scarring; or find the demands of breastfeeding difficult - leaving them feeling unattractive and alienated from their body.

"I looked in the mirror and thought 'who's that woman?' It was a while before I realised it was me."

However, while some mothers and fathers may regret the loss of their old selves, others are happy with their new identity.

"I'd been working in the local building society since I left school and I was bored stiff. I love being at home, knowing that Jack needs me. We have a nice routine together. I feel really satisfied with what I'm doing for the first time ever".

Loss of freedom

New parenthood can feel like a big intrusion into your individual freedom. Many parents struggle with loss of freedom to come and go as they please, to go out, and to enjoy their own interests.

The regularity of life with children - mealtimes, nap times and bedtimes - with no let up can feel very suffocating for some parents.

"Just about the only time I get to myself now is my 10 minutes in the shower in the morning - it's like, my time off, when I'm allowed to be just me..."

"…total responsibility, absolutely 24 hours for the rest of your life … exhaustion, destruction of social life, routine - that really frightened me. Regular mealtime, regular bedtime, regular … surrounded by structure."